You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
