Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
