They have a pepper shaker for pot.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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