my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
