Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
