I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
im holly from the hills drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize