Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize