you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Randomize