you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
