I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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