I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
