Im at strip club and am horny
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
