But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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