I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
