isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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