Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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