Betty ford says i'm here all night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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