She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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