If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
foreskin is a definite game changer
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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