The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
