So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
