why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Randomize