My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
