I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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