So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
