Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
