my vag is so smooth its legendary
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
ttyl tear gas
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
