Got a toothbrush?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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