what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
