Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
