Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
