oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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