We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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