i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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