Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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