Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
