There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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