he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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