"it" just moved
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
