I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
