so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
