I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
