y did u give ur computer a hand job?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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