Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
