Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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