he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
