Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
