i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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