Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
