do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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