i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You've changed since you got that strap on
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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