If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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