butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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