I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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