Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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