Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
