my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
