I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
