conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
it hurts more in the daytime
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
