I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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