so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We are two peas in an std pod
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
