Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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