Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
