when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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