Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
